


Apple Seed

by jrxyl



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, First Kisses, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Save Me, Slow Burn, barely there symbolism tbh, i still don’t know if apple seed is supposed to be one word or two, it’s literally one (1) line, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jrxyl/pseuds/jrxyl
Summary: The game was simple, you put an apple seed on your forehead and recite the alphabet. The letter the seed fell off on was, supposedly, the letter your true love’s name started with.





	Apple Seed

**Author's Note:**

> does anyone even know what the apple seed game is?? like i tried googling it and nothing came up so i’m ??? whatever anyways! this is highkey a mess i didn’t proofread At All but i’ve been putting off posting this for a solid month oof

 

_Age 5_

They met in Kindergarten.

Changbin wasn’t the type to make friends easily; quite the opposite, actually. He preferred to stay with the two he already had; Chan and Jisung.

But, when he saw the most innocent-looking, doe-eyed (which was saying something, he was friends with Jisung, after all) kid to exist, something changed. _Especially_ when he noticed how lost and alone the kid looked.

He had nudged Chan and Jisung, asking them to come with him while he introduced himself to the boy. They eagerly agreed.

“Hi,” He said once they were in front of the kid. “I’m Changbin.”

“I’m Chan!”

“And, I’m Jisung! It’s nice to meet you!”

They all smiled at the kid, who just stared at them in confusion.

“Um,” He said, voice quiet and. “My...name...is Felix,” His Korean was heavily accented, and the syllables sounded awkward.

“Are you a foreigner?” Jisung asked, ignoring the way Chan elbowed him in the stomach.

Felix stared at him blankly for a moment before frowning. “My Korean…” He trailed off, furrowing his brows as he thought. “I’m not, um, from here?”

“Where are you from?” Changbin asked slowly, glancing at Chan to see if he was being rude or not; Chan nodded encouragingly.

They all waited as Felix thought for a moment, a small smile appearing on his face when he understood what was being asked. “Australia!” He said excitedly.

“ _Really_?” Chan asked, slipping into English. “Me too!”

Felix lit up, grinning. “Thank _God_ , my Korean isn’t very good yet. We just moved here.”

Changbin had a loose idea of what they were saying, but their accents made it hard to understand; especially since they were talking so quickly. Nevertheless, he felt himself perk up at the sight of Felix’s broad smile.

“What are your guy’s names?” Felix asked, this time in Korean. Changbin found he liked listening to Felix’s voice. “I think you already introduced yourselves, but, I couldn’t really tell what you were saying,” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Chan pointed to Jisung. “That’s Jisung, and the one next to him is Changbin.”

“Nice to meet you!” Felix said.

They both nodded, Jisung quietly saying, “Nice to meet you, too.”

They had begun to hang out regularly after that. But, despite the fact that Chan often translated for and helped Felix understand what was being said, he took a liking to Changbin. In fact, there was rarely a moment when Felix _wasn’t_ hanging off of him.

Changbin didn’t mind, he actually enjoyed recess more now. Both because Felix was fun to be around, and because he liked holding hands with Felix; more than he did with any other girl he had tried it with.

_Age 9_

“Hey, you wanna play apple seed?” Felix asked. They were sitting in his backyard, eating their apples and and quietly enjoying each other’s company.

It had become a common occurrence; them hanging out; the two had grown inexplicably close.

And, because they had grown so close, Changbin had learned not to question Felix’s random wishes. Still, curiosity got the best of him, and he couldn’t help but ask, “Apple seed? What’s that?”

As always, Felix gave him a _look_ ; one that said he would much prefer Changbin complying with the game rather than questioning it. But, he still explained, “You stick an apple seed on your forehead, then wait for it to fall off while saying the alphabet.”

“...Why, though?” The reason behind it didn’t really matter, but, Changbin liked to mess with Felix.

“Because!” Felix said, exasperated and moving his hands in large gestures; pointedly ignoring Changbin’s laughter (and ignoring the way he started to laugh, too). “Whichever letter it falls off on is the letter your crush’s, or, true love’s, depending on who ask, name starts with.”

It sounded dumb, to be honest, and didn’t make much sense. But, Felix looked too excited for Changbin to say no. He sighed and grabbed an apple seed, wincing at the stickiness. He would have to wash his face and hands after this, but, it would make Felix happy, so it was worth it.

(Truthfully, he thought anything was worth it if it made Felix smile).

“Ready?” Felix asks, watching Changbin place the seed on his forehead.

“Do we say it together?”

Felix shook his head. “No, separately. You go first.”

Changbin nodded and began to recite the alphabet.

It stayed on until he got to ‘F’.

Felix began to ramble about some girl in their class, certain she must be Changbin’s crush; unaware of the pit his words formed in Changbin’s stomach.

Changbin hid a grimace, placing one hand on his stomach to soothe the ache. The girl was pretty, sure, but he couldn’t help but think the quiet boy that shares his chocolate milk would be a better match for him. He voices that out loud.

“Oh,” Felix says, tilting his head before shrugging. “I think there were people like that in Australia!” He deflates a bit, frowning. “I don’t think there’s a lot here, though.”

Despite not being able to detect any judgement in Felix’s voice, Changbin shook his head. “Well,” He hurriedly starts. “Maybe it’s because she isn’t a foreigner? Maybe I just like foreigners?”

Felix, either temporarily forgetting that their classmate was a foreigner, or ignoring it, nods. “So, that’s your...type? Foreigners?”

Staring at his friend’s freckles, and listening to his choppy, accented words, Changbin nods.

Felix, satisfied with his answer, sticks the seed to his forehead and recites the alphabet.

It doesn’t fall off.

Changbin asks what that means, and Felix guesses it means he doesn’t have a crush. His words cause the uncomfortable feeling in Changbin’s stomach to come back.

When Felix asks if he should play it again, Changbin suggests they play tag instead.

_Age 13_

They’re both in eighth grade. Felix seems to have forgotten about the apple seed game. Changbin hasn’t.

It’s not something he thinks about often, but every once in a while, he’ll think back to that day. He thinks he knows why, but he doesn’t dare dwell on that thought for longer than necessary.

(He had an unhealthy habit of repressing his feelings, something he always assumed he would grow out of).

It happened less now, though. He has other things to worry about, after all. One of which should be the fact that they’re starting high school soon, but Changbin couldn’t care less about that.

No, now he’s caught up on the fact that he’s never really had a crush. Which, is a silly concern, but when all of his friends gush about girls, and boys, he can’t help but worry that he hasn’t felt that way.

He’s found people attractive, yes, but never in a way that made him want to date them. The closest he came to that was a boy he met last year; Hyuk.

He was younger, but taller, than Changbin. He was cute, and there was a lot of playful, not entirely platonic, flirting between the two. They probably would’ve gotten together, if the thought of dating another boy didn’t terrify Changbin.

Unsurprisingly, nothing happened between the two. Hyuk went on to get a boyfriend of his own, and Changbin was happy for (and somewhat envious of) him.

Not because he wanted to date him, no. He was jealous that Hyuk was unapologetically himself.

He was loud, blunt, and not afraid to take up space. He stood tall, shoulders back and head high. When he said he didn’t care what other people thought, he meant it. He stayed true to himself no matter what happened. The opposite of Changbin.

Changbin, who hunched his shoulders in and kept his head down. Who spoke quietly, and cared about what others thought more than he should. The only similarity between the two was their bluntness. Though, Changbin wasn’t like that because he was brave, he was like that because he panicked and blurted out what first came to mind.

Hyuk reminded Changbin of Felix, brave and unafraid to face the world on his own.

Changbin wished with all of his being they could at least be alike in that sense.

But, they weren’t; and Changbin spent the rest of eighth grade, and almost all of freshman year, desperately trying to convince himself that he was straight.

_Age 15_

Changbin was a sophomore in high school when he got his first girlfriend.

Her name was Nari. She was shorter than Changbin, but definitely braver, considering she was the one that confessed.

Truthfully, Changbin didn’t like her romantically, maybe not even platonically. They weren’t friends before they started dating; hadn’t even talked. Nari had just come up to him after school, confessing that she liked him and asked him out. He surprised both of them, and Felix (who was hiding behind a pillar, sticking close for moral support), when he said yes.

It was shitty to date someone you didn’t even like, but Changbin was scared. No, Changbin was fucking _terrified_. And dating a girl put his fears to rest; for a bit, at least.

Besides, Nari got to date the boy she liked, and Changbin got to forget about his sexuality; it was a win-win situation.

Until Nari tried to kiss him.

Affection wasn’t something Changbin was opposed to, in fact, he was one of the touchiest people in the friend group. So, hand holding and such shouldn’t have been a big deal.

And, with his friends, it wasn’t. But, with Nari, it was just _uncomfortable_.

As was hugging and...any affection, really. Unless it was with Felix.

Cuddling with Felix made him feel small, which he found he didn’t mind for once, and it made him feel safe. Holding Felix’s smaller hand in his own instantly lifted his mood. And, Changbin thought resting his head against Felix’s chest was the best feeling in the world.

Likewise, Nari showing him affection was probably the worst feeling. There was just something about feeling her small figure against his own that made his skin crawl.

He was sure Nari noticed how tense he was every time she touched him, but she didn’t say anything.

At least, not until they were watching a movie and Changbin practically jumped to the other side of the couch when she leaned in to kiss him.

“I’m sorry,” He said, heart beating rapidly. “I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do _what_?” Nari asked, voice raised.

“I don’t know- kiss you? Hug you?” His voice grew softer, unsure. He wasn’t _scared_ of Nari, he just didn’t like when people yelled.

“Why not? Are you, y’know, like _that_?” And, something about her tone made Changbin’s stomach drop.

Despite being fairly sure of his sexuality, he wasn’t ready to come out to anyone; especially not Nari. But, kissing her was not something he could stomach.

He fought back the urge to shudder and, even though he already knew the answer, asked, “Like what?”

“ _Gay_ ,” She spat out the word like she would get scolded for saying it.

“What if I was?” He was angry, which was good. If he was angry, that meant he wouldn’t cry.

Nari laughed. “You’re joking, right?” When Changbin just stared at her, her smile fell. “Binnie, are you serious?”

He wanted yell at her, tell her to stop calling him _Binnie_ because only his friends called him that. But, he didn’t. Instead, he stayed silent for a long time, breaking eye contact as he said, “Yes.”

It was just one word, but Changbin felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It felt like a piece of himself he had kept locked away for so long _finally_ saw the light.

And, he supposed that was what happened.

“Oh,” Nari was quiet, shocked; but regained her composure after a moment. “That’s- I- okay. Um,” She swallowed. “So, we should, like, breakup, right?”

He nodded, still not looking at her. He squeezed his eyes shut when he heard her sniffle; the last thing he wanted to do was let her see him cry.

“I’m just- I’m gonna go, then.”

He only looked up when he heard the door shut. As soon as it did, he grabbed his phone, vision blurred with tears.

He texted Felix with shaking fingers, ignoring any typos.

_To: Starbar_  
hey cna i come iver

_From: Starbar_  
dude it’s 11pm  
we have school tomorrow

_To: Starbar_  
oh  
okau  
sorry

The long pause before Felix’s reply didn’t help him calm down in the slightest.

_From: Starbar_  
okay u can come over  
i asked my mom and she said yes

_To: Starbar_  
okay, rhank u  
i’m omw

From: Starbar  
wait are you okay?  
binnie?  
changbin  
seo changbin are you Okay  
fucks sake just be careful

By the time Changbin read the messages, he was already at Felix’s house. He didn’t even get a chance to knock before Felix opened the door. He took one look at Changbin and grabbed his hand.

“Mom, Changbin’s here! We’ll be in my room!” He called out while dragging Changbin along, not waiting for a reply.

When they were in his room, seated on his bed, Felix spoke, “Okay, spill.”

“Nari-“ Was all Changbin could get out before his eyes teared up once again. He squeezed them shut.

“Oh, baby…” He heard Felix say, voice laced with sadness. It was meant to be comforting, soothing, but then Felix wrapped his arms around him and the dam broke.

It broke because Changbin knew he would feel sick to his stomach if Nari, or any girl, ever called him that. It broke because he knew being held by her never even _compared_ to being held by Felix. It broke because Changbin knew what that meant.

It broke because Changbin was _scared_. He was _so_ fucking scared and last thing he wanted to do was think about whatever realization he had just come to.

So, he tried to focus on matching his breath to Felix’s as opposed to the thoughts and fears rushing through his head.

He wasn’t sure how long it took for him to calm down. But, eventually, his sobs ceased. He still sat in Felix’s embrace a bit longer, though; enjoying the feeling of Felix’s head on his own and Felix’s hands rubbing his back.

“You okay?” Felix asked.

“No,” Changbin replied truthfully. “But, I’m better.”

He felt Felix nod. “You wanna talk about it? You don’t have to, we can just go to bed if you want.”

“It’s about Nari,” Changbin started, pulling away.

Felix’s arms wrapped around his waist, gently tugging him closer. “Did you guys fight?”

“No,” Changbin scrunched his nose. “Well, yeah. But, we also, like- we broke up.”

Felix’s eyes widened. “Shit, dude. I’m sorry.”

Changbin shook his head. “Don’t be, I’m glad it happened, actually.”

“Then why…?”

“I’m not upset _because_ we broke up, I’m upset because of _why_ we broke up.”

Felix nodded in understanding. “Can I ask why you broke up?”

Changbin bit his lip, thinking for a moment before hurriedly speaking. “I’m gay,” He cringed at how his words ran together.

“Sorry, what?” Felix asked, leaning closer to Changbin.

Trying to ignore the horrible pit in his stomach, Changbin repeated himself, slower this time. “I’m gay.”

“Oh,” Felix said. “Okay.”

Changbin blinked. “‘Okay’? That’s all you have to say about that?”

Felix tilted his head. “Yeah? What else is there to say?”

“You’re not...surprised? Or anything?”

“I mean, yeah. But, I have no issue with you being gay,” Felix sounded indifferent, but that changed when he suddenly sat up straight, brows furrowed. “Wait, is that why you were upset? Did Nari say something?”

“Sorta?” Changbin said, placing a hand on Felix’s knee when his scowl grew. “Chill, that’s not why I was upset. Plus, I don’t think she meant to be rude.”

“Doesn’t matter if she meant it or not, she was still an ass.”

“You don’t even know what she said.”

“Your point?”

Changbin couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re right,” Felix laughed along, sobering up after a moment and quietly asking, “So, that’s why you were upset?”

Changbin shook his head. “Not entirely.”

“Why else, then?”

“Because, I…” Changbin trailed off. “I didn’t know how other people would react, or how you would react,” He shook his head. “To be honest, I was just fucking… terrified.”

Felix nodded in understanding. “How long have you known?”

Changbin thought for a moment. He had known for a long time, probably ever since he found out what ‘gay’ meant. But, after hearing his peers use it as an insult, he had decided that label couldn’t possibly fit him.

He knew he could easily explain that to Felix, but, he was _tired_. So, he simply said, “Probably since we were, like, nine.”

“Holy shit, dude,” Felix exclaimed, eyes widened. “Why did you date Nari if you knew you didn’t like girls?”

Changbin shrugged, looking down. “Like I said before, I was scared of being gay, so I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself I was straight. Dating her was a last-ditch effort.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix frowned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not really,” Changbin shrugged. “Just talking to you helped a lot. But, can we go to bed now?”

Felix nodded. “Of course,” He got off the bed, only then removing his arms from Changbin’s waist. “I’ll get the light.”

After the light was off, Felix laid down next to Changbin; who couldn’t help but notice there was more distance between them than usual. Changbin then realized things may change, after all. The thought made his heart sink. But, as long as Felix stuck by his side, not being able to cuddle with him may not be so horrible.

But, as if sensing his thoughts, Felix rolled over and wrapped an arm around Changbin’s waist once more, tugging him closer and burying his face in Changbin’s neck.

“‘Night,” He said, his breath hitting Changbin’s neck, making him shiver. “I hope you feel better soon.”

“Goodnight,” Changbin’s voice was soft, and he paused before tacking on, “And, I already do.”

He could feel Felix smile as he shifted closer.

_Age 16_

“Hey, Binnie?” Felix was laying on Changbin’s bed, head hanging over the side.

“ _Hyung_ ,” Changbin corrected, not looking up from his homework.

“No need to call me that,” Changbin could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m a year younger than you.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do. That’s why you let me call you ‘baby’ and let me hang off of you 24/7.”

Changbin bristled. “It’s...a defense mechanism.”

“What are you defending yourself from?”

“You. If I don’t let you latch onto me, you get grumpy as shit,” He finally turned to face Felix. “You’re gonna get a headache if you don’t move.”

“First of all, I’m never grumpy, so jot that down,” He sat up and winced. “Second, I already have one.”

“Idiot,” Changbin mumbled, but stood. “Do you want me to get you pain medicine?”

Felix shook his head. “No, thank you. I- actually wanted to ask you something.”

Changbin stared at him, wordlessly waiting for him to speak.

“Or- tell you something, really,” He furrowed his brows. “No, both? Yeah, probably both. Uh-“

Felix had a habit of babbling a bit when he was nervous. It wasn’t something Changbin minded (the opposite, actually). But, because he still enjoyed teasing him about it, he cut him off with, “Spit it out, dude. I still have homework to do.”

“Don’t call me ‘dude,’” Felix said, pouting. After receiving an unimpressed glance, he swallowed and spoke again, voice quiet. “Uh, how do you feel about gay people? Or, people that aren’t...straight?”

“Are you serious,” Changbin deadpanned.

Felix nodded meekly.

“ _I’m_ gay, Felix.”

Felix’s eyes widened. “Oh my God,” He started. “Oh, I- fuck, holy shit. I forgot. Oh my God.”

Changbin couldn’t help but laugh, only calming down when Felix looked at him again; face abnormally serious.

“Hey,” Changbin took a step closer, no longer laughing. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Felix nodded. “Yeah, of course. I-“ He took a deep breath. “I’m...not straight. Bi, I think.”

“Okay.”

Felix waited a moment for him to say more, but when Changbin remained silent, he rolled his eyes. “Fuck’s sake. Now I know why you got so mad when I did that to you.”

Changbin smiled smugly. “Yeah. Not that fun, is it?” He didn’t wait for a reply, instead moving to sit next to Felix on his bed; knees touching. “But, seriously, it’s cool. I don’t know why you would think I would react negatively, but, I honestly don’t care about your sexuality; as long as you’re happy.”

“I wasn’t scared because I thought you wouldn’t be okay with it,” Felix said, leaning his head on Changbin’s shoulder; both of them ignoring the way their height difference made it slightly awkward.

“Then why?”

Felix shrugged, grabbing one of Changbin’s hands and messing with his fingers; another nervous habit he had. “It’s just- different here, y’know?” Changbin hummed. “Like, in Australia, no one cared; from what I can remember. But, it’s not the same here. And that...that sucks, honestly.”

Changbin nodded, watching Felix’s hand play with his own. “Yeah, I know. But, if it helps, you don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to,” Felix made a noise of acknowledgment. “Like- yeah, it’s nice to be able to be yourself, but- you should stay safe. I mean, you’re one of eight people that know I’m gay,” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Basically, just- if you don’t think someone will react well to you not being straight, don’t tell them.”

“Yeah, I figured. It still sucks, though.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Changbin laid his head on top of Felix’s; both of them staring at the wall ahead.

“Who are the other seven people?” Felix asked before adding, “That know you’re gay.”

“The other idiots we hang out with.”

“Oh, I don’t- I don’t know what I expected, honestly.”

They both laughed breathlessly before settling into a comfortable silence; both enjoying the other’s presence. The sun had set, but neither of them wanted to move.

“I played the apple seed game again,” Felix said quietly, breaking the stillness of the room.

“Alone?”

“Yeah…?”

“Nerd.”

Felix shoved his shoulder. “Don’t be mean to me.”

“Our friendship was founded on me being mean, though,” Changbin wrapped an arm around his waist, squeezing it lightly to make Felix jump.

“No, our friendship was founded on you being a giant softie. You took me under your wing within five minutes of meeting me.”

“What else was I supposed to do? You had the face of a cartoon lamb. And, at the time, could barely introduce yourself,” Changbin squinted at Felix. “And, I’m not a softie.”

Felix wordlessly glanced behind himself at Gyu, raising an eyebrow.

Changbin grabbed the plushie, keeping one arm around Felix, and held it protectively. “Having Gyu doesn’t make me soft,” Felix remained silent, one eyebrow still raised. “I will fucking skin you, stop looking at me like that.”

Felix cackled, throwing his head back; Changbin couldn’t help but join in.

After calming down, he asked, “Why’d you play the game again?”

“I dunno, to see if anything changed?” He moved to put his head back on Changbin’s shoulder. “It didn’t fall the last time I played.”

“Did it fall this time?”

“Yeah,” Felix said, expression unreadable.

Changbin felt uneasy. “That’s good? What letter did it fall on?”

“C,” Felix murmured quietly.

“Oh?” Changbin said, hoping Felix didn’t notice the way his voice slightly shook.

Felix pulled back, face closer to Changbin’s than it needed to be. “Yeah,” He said, and wow, had his voice always been that deep? Did he always have that many freckles? Was his room suddenly a million degrees hotter?

Before he could even begin to answer his own questions, Felix leaned forward; slow enough that Changbin could move away, but fast enough for Changbin to know it was deliberate.

Despite knowing he would most likely regret it later, Changbin closed his eyes, feeling a pit of anxiety in his stomach.

It went away when their lips touched.

He couldn’t think about anything else as he kissed his best friend. His lips were chapped, it was an awkward angle, and Changbin was sure they were doing it wrong; but, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Felix pulled away eventually, looking as flustered as Changbin felt. He blinked a few times before clearing his throat, launching into a story about a teacher scolding him during class.

Changbin nodded along, only half listening as he wondered what would change between them now.

The answer, Changbin found out, was nothing. They didn’t mention the kiss, didn’t even hint at it.

Despite that, he didn’t regret it. At all. He couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather have had his first kiss with.

Even if Felix didn’t even remember it.

(He did, though. He thought about it just as much as Changbin did).

_Age 17_

They were both at Felix’s house, talking about nothing and pointedly not looking at the homework they abandoned.

“Hey, you wanna play apple seed?” Felix asked, Changbin felt deja vu.

“We don’t have apples,” Changbin glances at him just in time to see his face fall. “But,” He starts, already knowing he’ll regret speaking. “We could go to the store, if you really want to.”

Felix perks up, hopping off the bed like an overexcited puppy. “Really?” He asks, beaming.

Changbin hums, walking to his backpack to grab his wallet. “Yeah. But, we have to do our homework when we get home.”

“Homework?” Felix asks, tilting his head. “Huh, no idea what that means; never heard that word before.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Changbin says, a fond smile on his face.

“But, I’m _your_ …” Felix trailed off. “That- doesn’t make sense. Nevermind,” He shakes his head and smiles at Changbin before darting out the door. “Let’s go!”

Changbin half-heartedly ran after him.

-

They return to Changbin’s house with, admittedly, more apples than necessary. But, Felix is smiling like a kid in a candy shop, so Changbin can’t bring himself to care.

While Changbin sits down to actually eat an apple, Felix splits one in half before excitedly pressing a seed to his forehead; motioning for Changbin to do the same.

“You go first, I wanna eat.”

Felix frowns, but does as told; eagerly reciting the alphabet.

But, he doesn’t get very far. No sooner had he said ‘C’ did the seed fall off. Changbin stopped chewing, closely watching Felix’s expression.

Felix looked confused for a second before he bit his lip, barely concealing a grin. “Your turn.”

Changbin nodded. Something about the situation was...different than before. The air around them had shifted.

Trying his best to ignore the way his hands shook, Changbin pressed an apple seed to his forehead; quietly saying the alphabet.

It fell off on ‘F.’ He silently stared at where it fell. Felix broke the silence.

“So,” Felix started, sounding somewhat nervous. “Who do you think it is?”

“It?” Changbin asked. He knew what Felix was talking about, he just needed to stall for a bit.

Felix, thankfully, didn’t call him out. “Your crush. His name must start with an ‘F.’”

“Maybe. This game isn’t very scientific.”

“Yeah, I know,” Felix said, smiling. Changbin couldn’t help but do the same, the uneasy feeling in his stomach dissipating.

“So, my _actual_ crush’s name might not even start with an ‘F.’”

“Totally.”

“And, even if my crush’s name _did_ start with an ‘F,’ it might not even be the same ‘F’ name we’re thinking of.”

“Absolutely.”

“But, I have an idea of who it might be.”

“You do?” Felix shifted closer.

Changbin nodded. “Do you?” He reached out to brush a stray hair off Felix’s face, Felix leaned into the touch.

“Yeah.”

“So, to make sure we’re thinking the same thing,” Felix hummed. “We should say the name out loud. Together,” He fiddled with one of the holes in Felix’s jeans. “Like, at the same time?”

“Count of three?” Felix suggested, Changbin nodded.

“One, two, three…”

“Felix.”

“Fiona.”

“...What the fuck, Felix,” Changbin stared at him in shock, mouth open. “Like, from _Shrek_?”

“Was I right?” Felix managed to get out through his laughter.

“ _No_ ,” Changbin said, incredulously. “We said different names, obviously you were wrong. And, I don’t even like girls, what the fuck. Is Fiona even a human? Or is she-“

“Changbin.”

“Don’t interrupt me, this is important. Is Fiona a human-“

“No,” Felix said, still laughing. “I was saying the name of my crush.”

Changbin’s mouth snapped shut. “Oh,” He said. “That’s- that’s good. Uh, neat.”

“ _Neat?_ Really?”

“Cool?” Changbin suggested, lightly hitting Felix’s shoulder. “Leave me alone! Stop talking.”

“Make me,” Felix leaned closer.

Changbin grabbed the discarded apple and shoved it in Felix’s mouth.

“ _Ow_ ,” Felix exclaimed. “I think you just chipped my tooth.”

“Good.”

“Why can’t you be normal and just kiss me?”

Truthfully, Changbin didn’t know. He did want to kiss Felix, pretty badly, but being stubborn was easier. “Why can’t _you_ kiss _me_?”

Felix didn’t respond, instead moving one hand to the back of Changbin’s neck. He leaned in until there was barely any space between them before stopping. “Is this okay?” He asked.

Changbin nodded, gaze falling to Felix’s lips.

Felix grinned, looking at Changbin for another moment before finally closing the gap.

The kiss wasn’t Changbin’s, or Felix’s, first; but it was just as memorable.

_Mayb_ e, Changbin thought, the _game wasn't total bullshit, after all._

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry for the shrek reference i was listening to wow while i was finishing this ajdhdjsksk but thank you for reading!! i hope you liked it bc this was 100% self-indulgent oof but!! my tumblr is tojisung if you wanna send requests!!! ♡


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